just heard the news... i will be in guatemala and costa rica from july 27-august 16... why? you ask...

So here I am. Writing... talking in a sense, out of guilt. To be honest, I've been rather intimidated lately because I've decided that the more honest I am in these entry's the more boring the result, because, quite frankly, I'm not that interesting of a person... and my thoughts, while interesting to myself, leave others grinding their teeth because its better than dying the slow and painful death that boredom provides.

where is the line between who we are and who we invent?

i am tired. but not really. it is an odd sort of tired. i had the strangest day yesterday. so two nights ago (the 13th)... neal and i went to dinner for our anniversary. it was very nice. it was fun to get dressed up and go out with my hubby. but that night, i had a lot of work to do for school. school, you say? yes, school. so i had planned on staying up all night that night. it was about time that i did something like that. staying up all night, believe it or not, can be refreshing to my soul. there is an odd spirituality of sorts when one goes through the process of pulling an all-nighter. it helps me put things into perspective. it changes my mind. granted i am often dreary-eyed and my body feels a little shaky when i am up all night, and working out can be an even bigger challenge. but mentally, it keeps me sharp.

awww... so cute! for those of you who don't know, this is rachel, neal's sister and my sister-in-law with her boyfriend brian.

this week should be looonnnggg, but when it is over (thursday night)... i will be glad. i finish up my class this week... it will be nice to have a change of pace. this weekend, neal is working at a show/festival in the portland/vancouver area... and our friend Jeff is getting married on friday night... i will probably go get my second hole in my ear re-pierced (maybe?)... for no real reason except for that i want to. i already have a scar there from when i used to have them pierced. so i figure, why not just have a hole there, and i can wear earings in them if i want to? it will look the same as what is there now, but i will have more options.

To all of the dedicated readers (because there are so many)... please forgive the frequent site changes/errors/funky happenings. We are still in the process of making the site as functional and efficient as possible, and somewhat pretty too. But don't give up on us! We are just trying to make things run more smoothly. So in the end, we are ALL happier. *sigh*

So not much has been happening for me... well considering what could be happening, I suppose. It seems as though in order to make this blog interesting, it should be written in often. But then I wonder, how often do people read it? But then I think, well, it doesn't matter. So my conclusion is that I should post on indocilis frequently, but not stress out about it. Sometimes I will be boring, and other times it will be insightful. But hey, that's okay!

For the days of July 1st through July 5th I worked. The Job: Mix 19 blues bands. The Location: PDX Waterfront Blues Festival. The Crowd: 30k per day + radio listeners on 2 PDX FM radio stations (KINK, KBOO). The Hours: 12/day. The Pay: good.

a new vocab word for ya'll:

womps - definition: use like you would use the word "sucks" (as in lame). For example, "Boy, this party really womps!"

much of my time recently has been spent on figuring out who i am, what i want, and who i want to be. i don't have all of the answers, but it seems that the pursuit of these enduring questions keeps me mentally entertained, at least for as long as i can handle it. surrounded by other people my age and hearing their life stories has led me to realize that i've had a pretty easy life. i am thankful for the life that i have had. i love my family and friends, and i love the memories that i have of my upbringing. but sometimes i wonder how i would be different had i had a different past. i know that the past i had has made me into who i am, and i like who i am. sometimes i just want to stretch myself more... live an extreme lifestyle. act like a rebellious memeber of society. push my limits. i think this would help me appreciate the stability that i have in my life even more than i do now. but the fact that i enjoy and relish that stability keeps me grounded, healthy, and sane. sometimes i just get the urge to go punk, or move to a remote place and live an isolated lifestyle, or travel somewhere foreign just for the sake of helping people, or burn something down. but it's part of who i am. i don't want to be another drone in the consumer-driven society. i want to be different than the next person, and i want to be confident in that difference. i want reality, not a manifestation of an ideal.