if you guys are tired of waiting THEN FREAKING GUESS WHAT IT IS ALREADY. (oh and if you have some time go and see h-guide, it's good)

I have to say that when Alex wrote "That seals it.  Nah is Neal" I was crying at my desk.  Really, if my boss had come by at that instant and seen Corey's softcore porn on my screen and me laughing so hard that I was crying he probably would have fired me.  Deservedly so.  I did nothing at work today.  Absolutely nothing.  And that post made it all worthwhile.  Alex's comment is my nominee for play of the day.

For all of you out there who have been making a fuss over whether or not I was me, (thank you Neal) I can now show you that I am me, and NOT Neal nor Alex!

This girl has white pants... is probably wearing a hat... and i bet she costs a shizze load of $$... She's definitely part of Alex's scheme...

clarification: my last post was SUPPOSED to be where you mailox-heads guess what the scheme is. but overly sensitive jeff ruined it all by FREAKING OUT AND WETTING HIMSELF like an incoming freshmen at their first tri-delt party. so lets try this again. guess what the scheme is and prizes will be awarded according to accuracy. jeff, you're disqualified.

Well. The pressure is unbearable. So i give up. Here you go, you jackals, enjoy the fact that you've cut my plan to hype you all up for your own good and entertainment.

okay gang...here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for...i figured i could describe this to you, but then, a picture is worth a thousand words...

I'm just testing the waters here, but I think we should give Alex until midnight tonight to wrap things up.  If he misses the deadline, I think it would be appropriate to issue a Yellow Card.  If we punished Corey for failing to post, then I think it is within reason to penalize Alex for delay of game.  Of course, I don't want to cheapen the Yellow Card.  It is a serious punishment.  And severe.  It is severe as well.  Only serious offenses warrant it, but still....Am I WAY off base?  Have I become too angry too quickly?  Or am I right to be upset with Alex's torture?!

IT has arrived.

I won the lottery!  If you want a million dollars meet me at

have.... test.... tomorrow................must.... keep.... studying

here we are again, monday night. how did it happen? i could have sworn it was just thursday afternoon. damn. funny how time slips away. well. all that being as it may, if you're interested in my new crazy scheme that involves me spending a shizzze load of money (which i did yesterday) please let me know. and fyi, you will need a hat and white pants.

Due to unprecedented demand, I will launch into details about the house....better yet, you can find them yourself at:

http://www.rmls.com

Search for listing # 5008008.  There are photos and all kinds of great information available there.  I am unbelievably excited about this house...it is much nicer than other houses that we had been looking at in this price range.  Of course, we only paid a fraction of the price listed on the website.  Of course.  Anyway, we are both thrilled.  The worst part about it?  There is a homeless man living in the attic.  The best part?  He pays for our cocaine.

Not funny, not interesting, but....Jen and I just offered on a house and it looks like the owners have accepted.  Of course, nothing is certain until the deal closes, but it sounds like Jen and I will be living in the OC again.

Are we still planning on the Zunday Zissou Zociety?  When, where, who?

okay. so. i'm having some issues tonight, trusting the world...but, as you are all old friends, and would NEVER draw on me while i quietly slept through your shenanigans in corvallis a year ago...i will trust you. so be it. zunday night zissou zociety will convene! and for anyone interested in pre-film libations or hanging outness and/or post-film libations or hanging outness you are all welcome at my filthy abode. this is me...reaching out to you all. (don't let the fact that in two months time i will be living in my mother's basement make you feel obligated to visit me) what do the masses say?

The Volp.  I know we both realize the moment that was lost on Wednesday night.  Methinks that the fates did not want us to see the film together - at least not knowingly together.  Because we were together, the fates made sure of that, but we did not know it.  I blame the fates, all of them.  They are indifferent and cold, but their will is not without purpose.  We were supposed to be apart on Wednesday.  Somewhere, a greater good was served by our blind passing.  Perhaps we did not see it together on Wednesday so that we could all see it together on Sunday?  Who knows?  Well.....the fates do.

I'm sorry that we missed you.  It would have been fun.  But I think it is better that I saw it on my own...so that I could digest it apart from influence.  I saw my own life somewhere in the film.  I don't know if I would have seen it if I was not watching alone (by alone I mean that Jen was asleep in the seat next to me; a non-factor).  Maybe that's why the fates didn't let me see you.

well. have you ever tried to just do good in the world only to be shut down by the world's inability to accept good? have you ever made heroic efforts only to be met with ambivolent receptions? have you dedicated countless plegmas of energy and emotion in hopes of being what someone needed at precisely that moment? have you ever biked four miles in the pouring (i would have said 'pissing' but this is a family site) rain while wearing a red cap to laugh and love with a friend at their first viewing of life aquatic? yea? me too.

and that's all i have to say about that.

I have to say that I have not seen "The Life Aquatic" yet.  I read each of Alex'''s's (how do you make that name possesive?) posts with an increasing sense of personal guilt.  I can't relate to his pain.  I don't understand the significance of the red hat.  I really wanted to go see this film, but I always wait until movies come out on DVD before I watch them.  I wish that I had made an exception in this case.  What if I die before it comes out?  Will it still be playing in Heaven?  What if I go to Hell? 

Why does the dadburn theater charge so much!!  The wealthiest Americans are culturally nourished while workaday losers like me are just now seeing "The Incredibles" for the first time!  Why me?!  Why?!

Alex, imagine your life without any "Life Aquatic", like me.  Is it better to have loved and lost or never to have loved at all?  Believe me, it is the former.  Not seeing this film has cost me more than the $19.00 movie ticket, but it is too late for me to change things now.  Even though you are mourning, Alex, you are the lucky one.

i like chips and salsa.

wow. i finally post a serious posting and much to my surprise, neal and hollye both rise to the occasion. thus, i have learned a valuable lesson. as a follow up to the end of the life aquatic, i can tell you all that my quest to find a red hat has come to a succesful end...it took me across oregon (to the coast) to find one, but for only $7.99 and two hours of driving, i'm a happy boy. ***interjection: i am protesting the new indocilis site quote*** and while continuously challenged by the life aquatic, i take comfort in Captain Steve Zissou's final line: 'this is an adventure.'

as it turns out, a whimsical bike ride to the Bagdad wound up being a sorrowful farewell to the theatre run of Life Aquatic in the portland pub theatres. okay, maybe not the end end (i think it is still at the luarelhurst) but an end of sorts. i rolled up ten minutes late and it wasn't even on the marquis. i had to ask if it was still playing. what a good run it had, i was thinking...and then, i saw it. the metaphor. the metaphor was like a simile. making it a simile. work ends in two months and counting, then what? the end of my southeast run? the begining of a souhwest rental? when it's all said and done, the same six words ring out in my mind, borrowed and modified from an emotional german former-bus-driver in a red hat on a boat: who the shits is alex volpe?

Apologies for posting 'on the D-L' but my sources indicate several descrepencies between Neal's assesment of the current state of Team Indocilis and what most of us call simply: reality. Read on, for truth.

1)jeff hasn't been seen or heard from in nearly seven weeks. my sources indicate the US has been outsourcing 'jeff's' to cambodia, where there is an accute 'jeff' shortage.

2)there is no conclusive evidence that this 'hollye' character even exists. given neal's computer expertise, we have reason to believe that he has created her in a sort of cyber-existence, one that fullfills his life-long dream of marrying a basketball legend. kareem-abdul jabar was already taken, so a ficticious blond from cottage grove makes the most logical sense.

3)alex is less concerned about life after job than neal might lead you to believe--alex spontaniously combusted more than twelve days ago while attempting to hold his breath for over sixty-three seconds. R.I.P.

4)Corey. well, the corey stuff is true...but he is much taller than neal's description suggests.

For now, that is all me and my brothers in the Secret Brotherhood of Urban Ninjas With Slight Limps (SBUNWSL) have uncovered. but we will return. with limps. so it might be slowly.

(whoever is listed as poster of this message is merely an unwitting pawn of the Secret Brotherhood of Urban Ninjas With Slight Limps (SBUNWSL))

(it is NOT okay to contact this person with bulk mail)

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