It's official.  I will be in Corvallis this Friday.  Though it may not last all night, my presence will be difficult to ignore.  A good way to start ignoring it would be to claim that invitations to social events are being sent to my e-mail when, in fact, they are not there.  I'm starting to feel a little bit like Alex at my Life Aquatic party....Anyway, at risk of personal embarassment and e-stalkers, here is my e-mail address:  donbrighton@hotmail.com  Please do not e-mail me if you are infatuated with me or if you plan to stab me.  This address is my old porn name...funnily, now that I live on Duck Court, my porn name is the same as a beloved Disney character, so I will not be updating it anytime soon.  Isn't that a great story?  A porn name that is a Disney character!  I feel so alive! 

Ok, talk to you all later.

woah. i just woke up. i've been asleep for nine and a half days. i think i missed some work...and does anyone know where my pants are?

Has anyone heard from Alex lately?

Neal,  in answer to your burning questions:

1.  Moving is going well.  we just hit a snag in closing and might not move in until the first of the week, but I hope not.  We are planning to move on Saturday.

2.  I am surprised by how much stuff we have accumulated in just 10 months together.

3.  I cry for my fans who never get to touch me.  I am saddened for them and by them.

-Yawn- 

It doesn't matter what the secret was, you have far exceeded our collective attention span.  Yes, that was the royal "our."  I can't speak for everyone else, but I know that in this country no secret, no matter how eternal, is worth waiting more than 2 weeks for.  Look at rebates, for example.  Corporations love them because they know that Americans do not have the attention span to wait 4-6 weeks for free money!  As a rule, secrets are far less compelling than money over long periods.  Never has that rule been more applicable than in this situation.  I would have easily forgone this secret for a dollar, and now, in the end, I will gladly forgo it for nothing.  I refer to the popular saying "you had us on the edge of our seats"....and the little known last half of that saying...."but now we have fully reclined in them and fallen asleep."  I'm sorry Alex, I can't do this.  I discussed this at length with Corey and Lys and they agree.

Corey and Lys - don't ruin that last line by posting about its authenticity.

well...you've all been waiting for my big surprise...right? well...here we are...wednesday evening...as promised...here it is:

well...it's finally happened. the end of an era. i know we all know what i mean when i say how much it means to come to the end of something we know but don't want to know has to end. tragic in the sense that it is to be sure tragic, but tragic also in the sense that we knew all along what we pretended not to know in hopes of not having to know what deep down we knew we really knew. painful in the sense that pain is always painful, rarely pleasent. but painful also in the sense that it hurts in a way that can't be described as painful per se, making it all the more painful without pain because we know how much this type of painless pain can be painful. what am i gonna do next? well, we would all like the fortitude of Steve-Z, being able to dismiss such misfortune and pain without pain in addition to the painful type of pain with the simple words: 'i'm going on an over night drunk and tomorrow i am going to set out to kill the shark that ate my best friend, anyone who would like to join me is more than welcome...' but the reality of it all is that won't do any good. for a few reasons, the least of which not being that no shark ate my best friend. be that as it may, it would be easier to blame a shark. poor fishes. they just don't know what they're doing. instead though, we usually have to blame humans who know pretty well what they're up to, i mean hey, we don't use twelve percent of our brains for nothing right? but even after all that, there's still that unpleasent and painful and not painfully painful event of our current focus so maybe blaming someone and their crappy twelve percent isn't the best solution. it's okay though. only six more days till steve-z comes out to rescue me, at least for the moment. good thing it's baseball season i guess. well, off to work...but don't let this get you totally down...in the timeless words of that great and timeless one hit wonder semisonic: 'every new begining comes from some other begining's end...'

I'm sure that you have all noticed the splendiferous display of color and nuance behind our life-sucking posts.  Well, I'm sad to tell you that the graphics department here at Indocilis has just undergone an internal audit and they are spending more than 9 times their allotted budget!  The ZZZociety auditors have determined that Neal and Hollye - "Bonnie" and "Clyde" respectively, are responsible for the expenditures and have been embezzling funds from the budget since day one.  In fact, investigators discovered that the pair has recently purchased a small island in the Pacific and about 6,000 pounds of foil.  Clearly, the two had plans for world domination - and with that much foil and an island all to themselves it's safe to assume that they were very close to reaching their goal.  Lys, who has been posting undercover as Nah, is credited with the discovery and is expected to receive honorary posting priveledges when the matter is resolved.  In a related story, Jeff is bored and a little bit retarded.