it seems as though there is really no reason to add to the amount of fear in the world, but, at times, a person just cant help it.  im talking of course about walking down the sidewalk in the rain.  while some people may think that being from oregon (rain capital usa) would purge me of a fear related to rain, i assure you, the notion of strolling down a damp street terrifies me.  ill tell you why... umbrellas, or as i like to call them eye-poker-outers.  seriously, is there a particular reason that the suckers have to have those crazy spike things all around the outside?  yes, and ill tell you what that reason is, to poke out other people's eyes (and/or scar other's faces).  seriously, why?  also, apparently only people slightly shorter than me carry umbrellas as virtually every umbrella on the street is at exactly eye level (at least the spiky things are).  man, onetime i had to do a sweet matrix lean back thing when this one lady walking up the stairs turned her back to me to say something to somebody (probably bragging about somebody she scarred earlier in her walk) and her umbrella whizzed centimeters from my unprotected (and earth-shakingly-beautiful face).  i dont know... i know they say living in the city can be dangerous... but come on...  on an unrelated note, im pretty stoked about my complete and utter lack of formatting on this post.  also, in case you haven't heard, im almost done with midterms... one weird thing is that in the middle of my last midterm i thought about corey sitting at his poopy-smelling desk with 6 empty beer containers and thinking "man, it is much more difficult to do this test than to do what corey is doing right now, but, gosh darn it! it sure does seem a lot more relaxing (except the poopy-smelling part)."  further it is very exciting that alex is quickly progressing up the ben/jerry/(soon to be "and alex's") corporate ladder and teaching youngsters about astrology.  also, i have a sweet idea for a neato way to make money... we'll have to see if it pans out (ill give you a hint, it involves a long-handled net, some cammo, and a detailed map of local wishing wells).  alrighty kids, its been real... til next time, out.

Uing the alias above, I finally found time to do a little recon in the 5th and Yamheezy district.  That's right - disguised as a customer, I raided the Ben and Jerry's location in search of facts!  Here is my story....

First of all, Ben and Jerry's must be given credit for disguising their location expertly.  Considering that I was given "exact" coordinates for the store's location, I found myself having to kick it into another sleuthing gear just to find the place.  The store is really located on 5½th and Yamheezy, you see, which rounds up to 6th and Yamheezy.  So I spent quite some time looking for the Ben and Jerry's store in Louis Vuiton and other nearby retailers on 5th.  After about 15 minutes, I realized that I was dealing with some crafty counter-intelligence.  Needless to say, an investigator with my credentials is not easily stumped.  I ventured out from the makeshift base that I had constructed in the hosiery section of Louis Vuiton and that's when I saw the Ben and Jerry's storefront.  I casually drifted up to 6th avenue, where Ben and Jerry's is located.  Then, sensing their unpreparedness, I pounced into the store like a sweet-toothed American lad and quickly got about my work. 

The staff seemed nice enough, though none of them were Alex.  I noted this in my "customer notebook" (really an investigator's notebook).  The store was warm - no, it was hot - as if the ice cream was made in an iron smelter.  This was also noted in my notebook.  Everything about the store felt like a cover-up.  Even the customers were not very convincing to me.  I was easily the most believable customer in the store, and I wasn't even trying very hard.  I figured this was just another of Alex's glorious fibs, and I noted this in my notebook too.  I was about to order the "something inconspicuous" and be on my way when I saw it.  Behind the counter, there was a blacboard with the really bright kind of writing on it.  That fluorescent ink-on-blackboard that is usually found in Mexican restaurants.  Anyway, it said, in huge lettering:  Volp's Special $1.00 

I felt my heart rate begin to pick up.  For an instant I saw myself as Frank Hardy, solving captial crimes while keeping up on my schoolwork and dating the mayor's daughter.  My daydream was cut short when the non-Alex employee behind the counter aksed me if he could help me.  Sure I said, I'll take the Volp bar.  According to the Mexican blackboard, the Volp's Special is a chocolate dipped caramel waffle bar.  The blackboard also indicated that they were working on a shorter name.  "no kidding" I thought to myself.  I hope this is worth the buck. 

Let me tell you, it was worth the dollar.  Alex has invented a masterpiece.  It's no wonder Ben and Jerry's charges a dollar for it.  It's worth twice that. 

Bottom line, Alex's story is true.  He invented something edible. 

Alex, you should call it the "diptastic carmachoffle bar" - DC Bar for short.  DC gives it street cred.

Times I got out of bed to poop last night due to eating too many garlic green beans: 6

Research hours expected to date, for my graduate tuition waiver and stipend: 75 

Hours of research I've actually performed: 7

Times I've come to Indocilis and not laughed out loud at Neal's picture: 0

Empty beer bottles sitting at my desk: 6

Number of times I clicked on my own website's "Google ads," prompting Google to expel me from the Google ads program: 234

You're now up to date.

it is my pleasure to announce, on the record, that neal and i will be in oregon from december 24th through january 8th.

http://www.addictinggames.com/marvinspectrum.html

dear sirs and siresses,

i am writing in regard to a problem i have recently experienced and have even more recently become concerned with. you see it started not long ago in an innocent enough drive through the portland countryside. innocent as it seemed at the time, it would appear to have been a disturbing seed planted irrevocably in my brain--for now, that seed has come to bring horrendous fruit sprouting from my head. horrendous and heavy. and slightly prickly, like a cactus. or several cacti. and now, while doing the simplest of things, driving the hundred and twenty blocks up burnside to reach my office after a long day of interviewing high schoolers i can hardly withstand the weight of the prickly horrendous and heavy fruit kerklonking my head. of course i am speaking in metaphoricalisms....but be that as it may, i can't help bobbing my head and swaying--NAY! shimmying my shoulders, even joining in chorus when mariah carey's 'shake it off' comes on the radio. does that mean there's something wrong with me? happy friday all.

well, on account of something funny in the water, 9 months and 24 years ago, we here at indocilis are celbrating our third birthday in the last 1.5 weeks!

so, without further adoo,

HOLLYE!!! HAPPY STINKING BIRTHDAY OL' GAL!

love you bunches and bunches and even more than cap'n crunches.

in case you missed it, here is what we did to celebrate...

what does it take to be inspired?

except for corey...

drinking water (20 seconds)

playful (1 minute)

but mostly corey...

for "one of those days"

While Alex has been inventing ice cream flavors, I too have been working my way up the corporate ladder.  I recently developed a new type of insurance.  It's called "Care for Healthies" and it provides coverage for people who lead healthy lifestyles.  If you ever actually need the coverage, we determine that your lifestyle must be unhealthy and we cancel your policy.  It should make the company a lot of money.  For this (and this is the real part), I have been made supervisor of my department.  That's right, I now supervise my former co-workers.  I'm not joking. 

It's a modest promotion, but it looks promising.  Anyway, I am now scrambling to develop an underlying agenda to which I can apply my newfound influence.

In other news, I think I need to apologize to Neal for neglecting to play a running back against him in our fantasy football league this week.  What can I say, my fantasy team runs a "pass-first" offense.  It's a good thing I don't rely on my RB for much production, because I found out on Sunday that my RB had a bye week.  I wouldn't have changed anything even if I had found out before Sunday.  At the end of the day, I just plain like my running back.  And I'm going to stick with him no matter what.  If he doesn't play, neither do I.  I lost to Neal on principle only.  I am the best 1-4 fantasy team in the world.  Anyway, sorry Neal.

Alex, I'm still trying to make it down to the shoppe to see this new flavor.  Do you at least get to name it?  If it is chocolate, you should call it "Chocturnal Emission."  For the record, that is a joke about fuel standards and air pollution.  There are other possible interpretations, but they are not my own.  Okay, I have to do some homework.  I'll see you all later!

it seems that one of the most common questions that we get about living in new york is, "so, have you gotten mugged yet?" i am here to answer that question, and confirm all of your suspicions. because the answer is YES, we have gotten mugged. in fact, we usually get mugged two or three times a day.* they say that the cost of living is higher in new york. but really, most of our expenses this month have been on buying new wallets. i go through at least 5 each week. neal has already given up and now uses old socks to carry his essentials. and if you're really wondering, yes, the holey ones usually work better... but only the ones with small holes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEAL!!!

by now we all know what my most obvious obsession is. you're probably all sick of hearing/seeing/knowing about it. i cannot, however, deny my passions. if i did, i would be denying myself the happiest possible life. and quite honestly, some passions are just too strong to keep to ourselves. therefore i feel compelled to point you to a website that is the latest item of my deepest affection. http://kittenwar.com/

sometimes when i'm bored i conduct random searches on google images. tonight i bring you my favorite find:

i signed on to post, but am feeling unable to put the letters in my head onto the screen. but i wanted you all to know, that i signed on to post.

alex- how is the ice cream creation going? should we expect the new "volpe" flavor to hit our local grocer's freezers soon? any new music favorites these days?

corey- any new clients from your sweet new website? how has the firefox/safari layout issue been going? does grad school rock? have you bbq'd lately?

jeff- how was your second interview? have you been working on your stand up routine? how's the striped room in your house?

jason- any big tests coming up? have you found any new sweet people to hang out with? taken any cool pictures lately?

neal- how has grad school been so far? any reflections you would like to share as your birthday approaches? what is your favorite music of late?

is is possible that i miss the desert? or is it just open spaces?

it seems that the more i search for answers, the more questions i create.  the more i strive for certainty, the more uncertain i feel.

there are so many different routes, who knows which lead to the same destination?  disaster?  good fortune?

live in the present, i guess.  just deal with whats in front of you.  now though, the big picture looms higher and higher over a once-blissful, now-restless populous.

is it strange that me, and all my siblings were born under a full moon?  explains a lot i guess.

it is so hard to take this seriously with that picture of me in the corner of my post...  mom, im sorry for looking like that on occasion.... i know i was raised better than that.

there are a few points that i would like to publicly make note of:

1) i have affectionately named the asian couple who lives across the window from us as "the sims". you can understand why.

2) i really isn't too fun to get stuck next to someone who stinks on the rush-hour subway rides.

3) graphic design means a lot of things to a lot of different people. i am just now beginning to define it for myself.

4) everyday when i walk to work i hope i see the kitty who lives by/near/in the small mexican restaurant on the right side of the street. he is just so cute.

5) neal is the best husband/companion/friend/lover ever. period.

6) habits are often good to break.

7) alvin and yumi = yay! (cryptic, but intentionally so).

8) white walls, as well as off-white walls, are uninspiring.

9) my boredom-breaking projects of late include: building myself a website, designing wallpaper for one of our walls, learning to knit, and sewing totes out of old jeans.

10) soup is pretty darn good.

*bonus point:

11) i miss you all.

All comments, criticism, praise, well-wishing, and business will be well received.

http://www.customdigitalslideshow.com

in a sudden burst of excited anticipation, neal and hollye revert to the minds of two young boys at the dawn of christmas morning...

we are eager to report we will be in the great state of oregon at christmas time!!!

a customary tourist outing on a friday evening in new york city is the ever crowded and over stimulating times square. as locals, we usually try and avoid these "tourist traps." however, we decided to join the madness on friday...

so. let me tell you some things. the past few days have been odd indeed. if you're intrested, read on...