here you go jeff! just what you always wanted!!!

click here to download

yes its true... i know most of you out there are crying... and im sorry, but the truth must be told...

No offense to Jos, but we should have included "no beating us at figure skating" in the terms of the WWII treaty that we signed with Japan.  Ruefully, we didn't, and we are paying for it now.  Sasha Cohen, the Russialicious American figure skater, was ahead going into last night's aptly named "long program", but she managed to bobble it and she lost to the Japanese woman.  Don't get me wrong, the Japanese woman skated an excellent, artful program and she deserved to win the gold, but it all could have been prevented with a little foresight.  Thanks a lot, Patton!

Elswhere in the Olimpicos world, an American downhill skiier managed to win the gold medal in a skiing event.  Although it is technically a violation of official Olimpicos Downhill Skiing Rules for an American to win, the ensuing confusion caused bewildered officials to award the gold medal before they realized what they had just done.  As is increasingly the case, the successful American was a female.  Congratulations girls! 

Not that anyone is counting, but America is now in second place behind the Germans in overall medal count (another botched treaty!).  We have 23, they have 24

(EVERYONE is counting).

See you next time!

Theme - "The Other Side"

Easily the most heartwarming story of these games is the one about the African gentleman who came to the Olimpicos without a coach and swam in a pool by himself to the applause of a packed house.  Sadly, this story was also the most heartwarming tale of the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, which is where it actually happened.  In true Winter Olimpicos fashion, the stories of these games are cold, quiet, and about as flavorful as the snow upon which they occur.  But that's why I love the Winter Olimpicos, and it's the same reason that I love middle America. 

The Winter Olimpicos are a place for bland people to cheer bland athletes as they compete in bland sports - and it is sincere and perfect just as it is.  These athletes might not be the fastest (the first African-American gold medalist EVER occured this year?), but they are the best that the small Winter Olimpicos Community has to offer.  Much like the few-toothed beauty queens of small-town Mississippi, these babies are as good as it gets for miles around.  The Winter Olimpicos is a competition between the biggest fish from very small, frozen ponds around the world.  As long as you like small ponds (and I'm talking about Northern Europe now) then you have to love the Winter Games.

There's the story of Bode Miller, America's pride and joy, who has gone O-'fer.  Michelle Kwan, who thought that she might compete, but did not.  The US hockey team, who continues to lose.  And the entire field of ice dancers, who held a slow horrifying train wreck the other night (no less than five really bad falls, including at least one dropped woman).  Finally, there is curling.  I heard someone say that curling is so ugly that only its mother could love it.  Well I do.

You can take your Summer Olimpicos, with its warm weather and attractive athletes.  But I'll take my small-town Winter Olimpicos, please.  Amen.

Not everyone can be cotton candy.  Someone has to be Army rations.  Go Olimpicos.

it has recently come to my attention that having a large big toe isn't all that it might be cracked up to be. there are several positive things about large big toes. for example, they are easier to flick small (and large) wads of paper with. but there are also downsides to large big toes. lets consider socks. the average set of toes can handle the same pair of socks for several years, if worn in equal rotation with all pairs in the drawer. large big toes, on the other hand, stretch socks in particular areas (largely the large toe area). you can imagine the effect that repeated wear to this one area can cause... imagine the stress on those threads! in the name of sock-preservation i have attempted to counter this phenomenon by alternating the foot that wears each sock. but often i have found that this leaves me with over-stretched socks on BOTH sides... which essentially gives me the appearance of TWO large big toes... one on either side of the foot! i have, only after 24 years, come to terms with the fact that i will always get holes in my socks faster than the person sitting next to me. and i am no longer bitter about it. in fact, i embrace my unique toe structure and consider myself lucky to have such plentiful phalanges.

unrelated but equally worthy of attention... as we all probably know the super bowl has come and gone. for individuals such as myself, the super bowl really isn't much of a big deal. i'll watch it for the companionship of neal (and other friendly folks), the sweet intake of masses of junk food, and the general excuse to be lazy. but am i really interested? probably not. what does interest me, however, is this. (note that if you are on a slower internet connection it might take awhile for these videos to load. but trust me, its worth it). so finally... someone with some real sense did something worth 4 brainless hours of my life. that, friends, is worth more than its weight in un-holed socks.

A while back I was watching the childhood favorite Willow with Jason, we both grew up with this movie as I am sure some of you did too and we were enjoying a nice stroll down nostalgic lane when Jason had a realization.  "Wow, you bare a striking resemblance to Mim".  For those of you that need a little brushing up on your Willow trivia Mim is Willow's daughter and is played by a certain actress named Dawn Downing.  For those of you that have kept up to date with things you already know that this was Dawn's first movie and she was probably around the age of 4 during the filming and you also know that Dawn has not been in any other big box office hits since, but has been leading a rather normal life for a child star and is currently attending Grand Valley State in Michigain.....

there are times, however few and far between they may be, that i am ashamed to be from oregon.

scariest thing in the history of scary things

As of this instant, two things have happened at the Olimpicos (both of them more than once):

1.  I don't think NBC understands what "the favorite to win the gold medal in this event" really means.  NBC has been using this term to describe the (American) athletes likely to end up crying and in 19th place after their opening qualifying heat.

2.  Can someone please wear a jersey that indicates what country they are from?!  I know for a fact that no country has "hunting safety gear orange" in their flag and that the Finnish national colors are not metallic silver, yet these are the jerseys of this Olimpicos.  Most of the jerseys look like a marble-painting accident that I had in my kitchen in 1990.  It's awfully difficult to hate the Germans when you can't find them.

As for the ravenous IOC diary fans, I understand your insatiable hunger for more insight into the games, but I alter my writing schedule for nobody.  This offering was hastily constructed and will mark the low-point of my entries in this Olimpicos.  Consider youselves punished.

There are a few good things about these games, however, for example:

1.  The US curling team is both young, old, and wildly inconsistent - yet they managed to defeat the defending gold medalists, the Russians, 11 to 5. 

2.  A curling match is probably the fastest 2 hours that you will ever witness. 

3.  Curling.

4.  I am suddenly thankful that snowboarding exists.  Otherwise, The U.S. would have to win medals in established sports with worldwide popularity.

so i was looking for a creative way to post this...and came up with this:

i got in to NYu

see that, i used a small u instead of a big u. nice.

dearest colleagues... the time is upon us to commence the third installment of the great a world-renowned photo challenge.

{insert deafening applause and hearty cheers here}

*pause* (for the applause to linger, and then die out)

the subject of this, the tirtiary contest, is...

{subtle pause, as freshly landed spittle glistens on the waiting lips of expectant thousands}

IMPENDING DOOM!!!

{aforementioned spittle takes flight as the uncountable throng cheers and lights things on fire in exhuberance}.

{another pause, a little longer this time as the fires are fairly resiliant and take a bit of effort to put out}

there will however...

{another pause as a small crowd of girthy male streakers cause a small commotion on the western edge of the crowd, but this is disturbance is shortlived as there is a lot of quicksand over on that end of the assembly area}

...be a few changes to the contest this time around. 

first:  there will be no voting til after the submission deadline.

second:  personally taken photos will recieve 1.5 points per vote, while images procured from the internet or otherwise will only recieve 1 point per vote.

third:  submissions may be posted as in the past, or they may be emailed to the admin for posting.

fourth:  the submission deadline will be monday febuary 20th at 11:59PM.

fifth:  photoshopping is allowed and will be considered equally with non-photoshopped images.

sixth:  funny photos will be greatly appreciated but not considered in the competition...

Passion.  Pain.  Artists. 

The Opening Ceremonies commenced on live tape delay tonight, signaling the official start of the 20th winter games for us Americans.  There is a significant difference in time between Italy and the rest of the world (America) - something like 5 days.  But try as they might, NBC did not have enough time to edit all of the artists out of the Opening Ceremony.  It is always a bit awkward when athletes and theater-types are forced to share the same stage.  It demeans the athletes.  At such an important event, artists should be ignored like normal, not paraded around for the world to see.  Nonetheless, Italy's performing artists elevated the art of "giant skiing person made out of artists" to unprecedented new heights.  Give them credit for that.  For those of you who did not see it, you are less alive right now than I am.

I have chosen myself to be the Indocilis Olympics Correspondent (IOC).  For the next two weeks, and during all subsequent Winter Olympics, I will be keeping a diary of my Olympic experience on this website.  You will like it.  Or you will die.  

May Sportsmanship and Diplomacy win many medals in these games.  And may America win twice their number.

well kiddies, the jury has reached a verdict. popup will be working in beaverton this  summer!!!  Yay (on an administrative note, i am already sick of putting all those cute little links in... so... sorry... but your going to have to deal without them).

so, here is the lowdown:  me n' hollye will be in PDX from may 31st to at least august 20th for all of the fun and festivities that may or may not be taking place at that time.  i will be working at audio precision doing intern type stuff... yes, this gig seems to pretty much be my dream job, and yes we are happy to be able to spend some time in the land of plenty (oregon).  we dont know for sure where we will be living yet, but close in portland sounds nice...

regardless, this is a huge relief for both hollye and i as our summer plans are now set, and i (for a change) might actually be making a little bit of money to support hollye and i's expensive addictions (food, shelter, and scratch-it lottery tickets).  anyway, this concludes the emergency broadcast.  should any more important information become available, and require broadcasting, you will be shot with a dart that contains a number that can be typed into any internet browser that will direct you to a site that contains a detailed map that pinpoints the location of a sealed envelope that will contain pills, that when taken, will cause you to hallucinate and imagine that you see a secret 18 character sentence, that when uttered in a completely dark room at exactly 6pm will cause a giant eagle to drop a magic box of rocks and sunshine dust which can be fashioned into a beautiful albeit heavy dress that, if worn to a fancy parade or fashion show (fashion show must be in a strip mall) will indicate to a sleeper agent in the crowd that you are to be delivered a drawing of a moldy piece of fruit, that when viewed at a 45 degree angle under pure moon-light will show you exactly what you need to know.  count on it.

hey you indos.... photo challenge #2's deadline is Monday February 6th... at 6pm ET. (hey, that's soon!) just a reminder. ok. now get back to business.

also, for all you indo fans (and indos as well), don't forget to vote for your favorite photo. go to the photo challenge #2 link (on the left side of the page). view the photos at your leisure and vote away! but remember, the host of the challenge (me) cannot win. so in theory, any vote for me will be a wasted vote. darn, i know.

some highlights from the first email 'forward' ever worthy of perpetuating:

1. They once made a Chuck Norris tiolet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

2. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.